Standing Up for Themselves: A series about how our kids learn to stand on their own

In Her Own Words. . . Alyssa

The word “freedom” cannot be completely understood until the first night in college. There are no parents to check in with, no curfews and not nearly as many rules as back at home. I grew up in a very strict household throughout high school. I had to always tell my parents exactly what I would be doing at every minute of my night, which was interrupted by at least 4 or 5 phone calls. Since I’ve gotten here at Loyola University Chicago, I have experienced more freedom than I ever thought possible. I went downtown with a group of people until 1 am and didn’t have to justify to my mother that we were being safe. I walk to go buy a cup of Starbucks coffee without my dad telling me I could feed someone a meal with the money I was going to spend. I’ve done my laundry after midnight some days because I was playing Rockband in a guy’s room with a group of people, which my parents would consider unacceptable.

However, with freedom comes responsibility. There have been nights where I have stayed up until 3 am talking with people—the night before I have class. However, I have done my homework for the night, and still wake up and am attentive in class. Freedom is only a gift if a student accepts the responsibility that goes along with college life. Procrastination is inevitable for most, and I am definitely not the exception. Sometimes ordering Chinese food and watching House seems way more fulfilling than writing an 8 page paper for my Theology class. However, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I can appreciate the freedom more once I have completed all my responsibilities.

Bullying Top Concern of Parents With Overweight Child

Consider the following news item. If this is something you face as a parent, share your experience so we can help each other.

THURSDAY, Sept. 11 (HealthDay News) -- Bullying is the top "health" concern among parents with overweight and obese children, according to a new report.


Parents of these children, aged 6 to 13, also are much more likely than parents of children at a healthy weight to call bullying a top health issue for kids, according to a report released Monday by the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health.


"We found that parents with overweight or obese children actually view bullying as a greater problem than childhood obesity," Dr. Matthew M. Davis, director of the National Poll on Children's Health, said in a university news release. "Since bullying is known to be a problem for children with increased weight, bullying prevention programs will need to be mindful of obesity as a potential trigger for bullying behavior and of parents concerns surrounding this issue."


Overall, parents don't take childhood obesity lightly, ranking it No. 1 is among health concern for kids in the National Poll on Children's Health. Still, only two-thirds of parents actually enforce such limits with their children on junk food and time spent in front of a TV or computer screen, the poll found. Still, many parents are talking with their children about having healthier diets and increasing their physical activity, which Davis said is an important first step in setting the stage for a healthier lifestyle.


Nearly two in five of the families polled included one or more overweight or obese child between the ages of 6 and 13. The poll also showed that children who were obese or overweight were almost twice as likely to have an obese parent as healthy weight children.


"In many families, obesity is a two-generation phenomenon among parents and their children. This trend could be the result of genetics or behaviors such as eating habits and physical activity that are shared among parents and their children," said Davis, an associate professor of general pediatrics and internal medicine at the U-M Medical School.

Tips to Deal with Bullying from Consumer Affairs:

For students ...

• Tell someone, school staff, parents, other trusted adults about the bullying. Often children are afraid to talk to an adult because they fear retaliation or being viewed as a tattler.

• Take a friend, or group of friends, along when speaking to a trusted adult. This approach creates a community of support and provides a model for how to address these issues.

• If students feel comfortable and safe, speak up when a peer is being bullied.

• Treat peers with respect.

For parents ...

• Model respectful interactions.

• Talk with your child and create a space in which they feel safe to discuss their fears.

• Be aware of warning signs of bullying and talk to your child about what is going on.

• Know your children's friends.

• Take time to connect with your children.

• If your child is being bullied, alert school officials and help your child get assistance. NEVER tell your child to ignore the bullying as this can increase the seriousness of the problem.

• Expect the bullying to stop. By setting a high standard, parents are demanding that change and consequences occur. They are also empowering the child to take action and shed the victim role.


More information


The Nemours Foundation has more about obesity and children.

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Order this book from Focus on the Family

Response to Intervention - RTI

There's a national move away from special education testing and placement in favor of RTI (Response to Intervention). The desire is to help students within the regular education classroom get their needs met by their classroom teachers instead of immediately trying to have them removed into a special education environment.

That's fine. . . as long as their needs are met, teachers are prepared to meet them, teachers are willing to meet them, and their needs do not outweigh the ability of the teacher to meet them.

However, RTI can be a stumbling block to those students who truly need special education services. RTI can delay testing and services and precious time can be lost and a student's academic career jeopardized.

If you are a parent with a child who is struggling in school for any reason, please read the following article in the Washington Post and keep you eyes and ears open for RTI.

Waiting Too Late to Test?