(painting by Julia Lucich http://www.landingpartygallery.com/orig_trad_fig/mirror.html)
My mother always said that I was my own worst enemy. And she was right. The same can be said for my own children. At one time or another our kids get in their own way of getting what they want or need. Sometimes it's our job to protect them from themselves.
Sometimes that means being the "bad guy" or "raining on their parade" but as the grown up, the one who has already "been there, done that" we need to believe in our own credibility. You actually do know better.
The older they get, the higher the stakes get for our kids. The older they get, the less time we have to impart all we wanted to on their lives.
Time is short - so as I argue with my 16 year old that he can't and shouldn't buy an overpriced light sabre on EBay and save his money instead, I need to win the argument. Today I'm the bad guy. Today I'm the unfair mom. Today he doesn't like me very much and won't talk to me.
But that's part of the job too.
Stand firm and do the hard thing. They'll thank you later.
1 comment:
This was posted almost a week ago--but I agree with you. That is my job as a parent for my seeking new found independence teenagers to hate me. I may not feel good about it but--now I have done my job.
I have two teens (11 months apart in age) My 14 year old son voted me off his island when we were at the docters office the other day.
Off your island? He then informed me that he was having his b-day party the next day and he had invited 15 people to come and spend the night. 15? I calmly mentioned to him that we hadn't done a big food shop in 2 weeks.
How was he going to feed all these people? He looked at me and said Mom you are right--I am voting you back on my island. We need food--Oh Goody.
He had also previously mentioned that he had voted psycho sister off his precious island. After our food converstaion I mentioned to him that daddy and I had to work the next day.
He would need to clean the house for all our guests...not missing a beat he said mom I am voting psychosissy back on the island...I need her to clean the house.
My job as mommy is done.
The whole family is back on his island. We are so honored to be back. Have a great day :)
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